Archive for October, 2008

Have you ever been afraid? Of course, we all have. As adults we often call it stress, see you wouldn’t be stressed out if you weren’t afraid of something, usually failure. Teaching our children coping strategies for fearful situations can only bring positive benefits to their quality of life. Here are some suggestions.

1. Don’t model fearful reactions.

2. Show them how to cope when in fearful situations.

3. Praise and affirm your child when they cope rather than run away.

4. Stay firm and keep a positive outlook, even if you are afraid that someone might criticize you as a parent:)

5. Talk about genuine threats to provide a balanced view, i.e. strangers, poisonous bugs and snakes, bullies, fire, electricity, and germs.

6. Remind children (and yourself) that God doesn’t always prevent the storm but will help us through it.

“Let not your heart be troubled . . .” John 14:1

Dr. Gamblin

Even though I was taught by my parents up through the 10th grade, they knew how to generate excitement for each new school year. They also generated excitement throughout the year. Here are some of the things they did.

1. All the new books for the next grade were displayed on a shelf, we could look at them but we couldn’t do any of the work.
2. A school shopping trip took place, where school supplies, a pair of new shoes, and one new outfit was purchased.
3. My parents showed enthusiasm and excitement about the school year too. There was talk of what the different challenges might present themselves, comments like “I wonder if Rose will be able to do algebra.” Questions like that served to motivate me to “show them”.
4. The musical instrument was chosen and I had to make a commitment to practice it for one year. No lessons or practice could commence until the first day of “school”.
5. Art supplies and science equipment were collected from summer yard sales and displayed on the shelf along with the school books.
6. The best fact of all was the relationship with my parents, each school year was an adventure, a journey for both of us (and my other three siblings), my parents were the “guide on the side not the sage on the stage”.

Please share some of the things you do to create excitement about learning.

Have a great school year,

Dr. G

Why do bad things happen? My grandchildren lost their step-great grandfather this week. They prayed for him to recover from a sudden stroke, but God chose otherwise. I made a picture of the second coming of Jesus and framed it for each child with verses about God’s love for us. The little five-year-old boy held the picture so tenderly. I told him that when ever he missed Buddy, he could look at that picture and know that soon Jesus will come and he will see Buddy again. He was real quiet and then the tears started falling on the glass. So how do you comfort a little five-year-old? There is only one solace!

Go to links at the top right to find the web addresses for Lisa Freeman.

Keep look up,

Dr. Gamblin

Today’s show was a tough one to get through. We are so grateful to Melanie Scherencel Bockman for sharing the story of the loss of her son. Helping children deal with grief is difficult because it hurts so terribly to see them hurt. But handled in the correct manner, grief can build a child’s and adult’s character and make each of us more caring, empathetic people.

Just a few pointers when helping children deal with grief:

1. Answer their questions directly using concrete answers—terms like “passed on” or “went to sleep” are confusing to a child.
2. Give them a chance to talk about how they feel—their questions and comments may come at an odd time, but that’s when they need to be addressed.
3. It’s OK to say, “I don’t know” or to be silent. Physical presence is sometimes enough when we don’t know the answers.
4. Watch your child for their physical responses to grief—they may lose their appetite, not be able to sleep, or act out. Be patient and supportive, and remember they are processing pain.
5. Children grieve cyclically—it will happen over and over until they have dealt with the pain. Don’t be surprised if the questions are repeated, and watch for events that might trigger more pain such as birthdays, anniversary of the death, etc.
6. Remember that in addition to each of us grieving differently, children of different ages grieve differently. Don’t expect one answer to take care of everyone.
7. It is a positive thing to seek grief counseling. When a family loses a loved one, everyone grieves. Seek help from a professional who can help each family member address their grief.
8. It’s OK for your children to see you mourn a loss—as a parent; it isn’t healthy to always put on a strong face. Your grief has to be processed as well.

One last thing—children and adults grieve losses of all kinds—family and friends, pets, possessions. Grief is grief and has to be processed no matter what the loss. Be patient with those little hearts, and allow them to grow through this situation in God’s time.

Thanks, Melanie for your amazing words. God blessed through you today.

Candy DeVore, Editor, Kids’ Ministry Ideas

  Dr. Rose Gamblin, Education Specialist